Introduction
Writing a resignation letter is a liberating experience. It ends the torment of decision making and commits you to action.
Whatever your reason for leaving, it’s good to firmly set the process of moving on in place. A well-written letter, whether delivered with a sense of anticipation or shame, will get your new life and career started in a strong fashion.
This article will show you why ‘normal’ resignation letters are a terrible mistake to use. It will offer some advice on how to give yours a bit of spice. And, for the rushed, we’ve even prepared a sample for you to use.

Traditional resignation letters
Traditional resignation letters follow a fairly generic formula. They mouth some empty platitudes about your time in the company. Perhaps one or two semi-personalized nothings about the ‘good times’. A scribbled signature later, and you’re off planning how to spend the payout of your unused leave and benefits.

What’s wrong with this picture?

One of the most fundamentally important things to do in your professional life is to leave an impression. Building a reputation is important, even if you’re switching fields. Being forgotten by the people you worked for can have far-reaching consequences.

Proof of above outrageous statement
One of my friends quit from his large, somewhat impersonal company, wanting to go traveling with his girlfriend. They had planned a 9 month jaunt around the world. His company, unbeknownst to my mate, had a policy of not re-hiring people who had quit within the last 12 months.

Unfortunately, the travel plans didn’t work out. My friend and his girlfriend broke up quite bitterly at the start of the journey† and he returned to his home town a mere fortnight after he’d left. His old position was being advertised, and so he applied. He made it through to the third round of interviews before the personnel department’s paperwork caught up with him and he was rejected.

His old manager had been one of the interviewers in the first round. Now, to be fair to the manager, looking after countless gremlins in a call center would tax one’s memory for faces and names. But I tell this story not to belittle incompetent managers – that’s another article in itself – but to point out that my friend suffered considerable frustration and heartache by being forgotten by his organization the instant he left.

This wouldn’t have happened if he’d made an impression.

You might not be a spectacular worker. You might not hog the limelight in meetings like Jerry from Accounting. However, it clearly behooves you to make sure you’re remembered in some light.

The incorrect option
Clearly, traditional resignation letters are the worst way to formally resign. They are bland, boring, make you look like a prat, and about as memorable as your twentieth tissue of a bad head cold.

In all likelihood, your letter will be read, some dates punched into a keyboard, and then it’ll be filed away and never thought of again. Is that how you want are effectively your last words to be treated?

If you insist, though, here’s a sample.

Terrible Generic Resignation Letter

Personnel Division
Internal Address

To whom it may concern;
I wish to advise of my resignation from the position of Call Center Monkey from WTF Industries effectively 19th December, 2009.
I have accepted a position with another company which will enable me to develop my professional skills and interests.
I have enjoyed my time at WTF and would like to take this opportunity to thank you for providing me with such a variety of meaningful, satisfying work.

Warmest regards
T Chumplington.

Writing a superior resignation letter
Making a better resignation letter than that is not going to be a challenge. Put aside an hour to write out something with a little meaning to it. You’re going to be quitting anyway, so don’t feel guilty. Here are some things you can do to improve the quality of your resignation letter:

• Address the letter properly. Get the title and full name of the person who’s going to be handling your resignation. Giving them the dignity of a personal address will endear you to them. Remember, this person will more than likely be responsible for helping you exit the company smoothly and painlessly. Be kind to this corporate laxative.
• Compliments are like bribes, but cheaper. Don’t be shy in lavishing praise where it’s due. If there was anyone in the organization who deserves your praise, let rip in the letter. Forward copies to them. Was there a janitor you traded ribald jokes with? A mail-room guy who’d chat about the football while he delivered your post? A manager who managed to keep meetings on schedule? Single them out for praise.
• Blast the incompetent. ‘Professional’ conduct is for idiots. Managers know that a person leaving a company is the most honest source of feedback around. No longer burdened with having to play office politics and pander to the manic whims of superiors, your resignation letter is the perfect forum to blow off a little steam. Have fun and get creative. Forward copies to your targets.
• CC is your friend. If you leave it to the organization, news of your regrettable departure will be spread ineffectually if at all. Let the world know, loud and proud, that you’re leaving. If you’re resigning by email, copy everyone you know in. Suppliers and clients will be shocked and saddened that the only non-idiot is leaving the organization, and you might be able to poach a few clients this way.
• Include a few anecdotes. Nothing keeps you fresh in peoples minds than recounting a few of your more memorable times in the office. Embellish as you go. Make a great sale? Quadruple the profits. Sneak a few gropes at the Christmas function? Make it sound like a full-blown orgy. Responsible for organizing the Softball League? Refer to yourself, in third person, as Head Coach in every paragraph.
• Keep it informal. Human Resources deal in formalities all day. They’re human beings, too.            Well.            Most of them. Look, the important thing is they like being treated like human beings. So feel free to take relaxed, human approach to resignation.

Sample of a superior resignation letter

Mrs Sheila McGuffin
Personnel Department
WTF Industries

Hi Sheila;
Yup! Those scurrilous rumors floating around the water cooler are true. I’m resigning, immediately after the paid Christmas leave we all get. It’s going to be tough leaving a company with such wonderful HR staff (See how SNEAKY we’re being?). But I’ve got to do it. For my children. (Emphasizing your paternal instincts is often a killer blow.)
If it’s any consolation, the only thing that could tear me away from my job as a Call Center Monkey is something like the new job I’ve been offered. For years, I’ve been a committed team player, eager to do my bit to try and translate the Neanderthalic gruntings of my superiors.
Now, I know that working two to three unpaid hours of overtime, every day, as well as the regular heapings of abuse we get from clients makes a pretty unique workplace. The senseless bureaucracy, interminable and constantly shifting rules and lack of feedback mechanisms are a refreshing and stimulating challenge to a devoted employee.
Nevertheless, when OMG Technology personally headhunted me for their Secretarial Bra Fitter position, I had to seize my chance with both hands. I promise I’ll use some of my vacation time – which I’ll actually be allowed to take – to come and visit you and the other lovely ladies (in HR Just in case Sheila’s sick or has to delegate). It never hurts to spread the love around..
Speaking of leave, I’m going to have to ask you a favor. You know James Springheimer? What a champion. I know he was too modest to say anything, but a friend in the Fire Department told me he was only late to work last Monday because he stopped to help rescue a stranded, escaped baby Panda out of a tree. OK, so maybe it was a kitten. And maybe it wasn’t a tree. It might have been the front tires of his car. And, well, maybe by ‘rescue’, I mean ‘scrape’. Anyway, I know that without James’ help in punching me in and out during the odd Mental Health Break, I’d have suffered my stress-related heart attack much sooner.
Anyhow, James is having a little difficulty convincing Adrian Smelter, his manager, to let him have some time off to attend the birth of his first child. I’m sure you’ve bumped into Adrian around the place. It’s hard not to – the man hulks like an unsociable troll. Have you heard the theory that incompetence is promoted to a level where it can’t do any harm? Well, Adrian was promoted to that level and then demoted for being too incompetent. His only achievement in ten years’ ‘service’ was losing the coalface worker’s ‘Worst Manager’ award last year (for the first time!) to Ted Sprugent, who’d died unnoticed at his desk in September.
Now, clearly a rational person would appreciate that James can’t control when his wife’s due. That the tiny, helpless baby, who desperately needs its father during those first formative weeks, is due to be born right on Superbowl weekend is a cruel twist of nature. Yet Adrian seems to have a vendetta against the poor man. I know he’s a little upset by the death of his cat, but this is still no way to manage your employees. Can you see what you can do to help out?
If I could squeeze one other favor out of your impossibly generous heart, I’d be eternally grateful. I have a sinking feeling that some ‘happy snaps’ of my exploits at last year’s Company Outings might have made it into my permanent record. If you could possibly take responsibility for shredding them once I’ve gone? I’m sure the time for company-based blackmail is past.
Thanks for all your help!

Cheers;
Ted Chumplington

Backup plans
Now, even with the prompting above, I know that some of you are going to have difficulty getting your letter together. That’s OK. Not all of us are writers, and you probably have other things on your mind – planning your vacation / revenge / how to swipe a photocopier in your last week. These important considerations can easily take priority in your final days.
If it gets to the last minute, you really need to resign today, and you suddenly realize that you haven’t been able to get your letter drafted… Don’t worry.

Write Thing.com is proud to present…
The Super Best Amazing Retirement Letter of Excellence
Simply load the page, print out the resignation letter, and pass on to your HR department. No fuss, no mess!

Conclusion
Now that Write Thing has shown you how to resign from your job, all you need to do is go out and get a new, better one!
Make sure your new employment leaves you with more spare time to write. Or, failing that, try and get an inattentive boss. When you’re unobserved, fire up a word processor and…

Go write!

† It all exploded upon arrival at their first tropical destination. Unpacking luggage led to the discovery that despite mutual promises and reminders, neither person had brought the sunblock. The ensuing barrage of insults and recrimination proved too much strain for the relationship to bear.