This is a sample resignation letter. For an article on how to write your own, with professional tips and suggestions, go to the resignation letter writing article.
If you want to use the below letter, simply copy and paste it into a word document and delete the irrelevant sections. Or, to be even more insulting (Don’t ask us if this is wise), simply print off this page and scribble where appropriate.
Enjoy!

Dear [manager] [moron] [survivors] [executive] [Cute secretary I've been eying off this last 6 months];
I wish to give my [notice of resignation] [smug grin] [herpes]
to [the company] [you] [your mom] [everyone], effective [immediately] [two weeks ago] [*INSERT DATE*] [full moon] [the next eclipse].
According to [the careers website I've been browsing for the last 6 months rather than doing any work] [my witch doctor] [my uncle] [the I Ching], I’m supposed to say I enjoyed working here.
Because of the [amnesia] [hangover] [gag order] [pregnancy], I can honestly say I don’t remember any times I [enjoyed myself] [was sober] [wasn't plotting a violent uprising]. It comes as a [sorry time] [relief] [sense of excitement] [court order] [religious observance] that I am leaving.
I have been offered a position at [*INSERT RIVAL COMPANY*]. The position, [General Manager] [Office Monkey] [Car Pool Administrator] [Astronaut] [Orgasm Consultant], is very [well remunerated] [exciting]. I am looking forward to developing my skills in [surreptitious napping] [stealing office stationery] [sexual harassment] [mid-level management] that I have developed over the last few
[weeks. Thanks for all the paid Personal Development.]
[months. Thanks for all the unpaid Higher Duties.]
[years. Nice merit recognition, idiots.]
[decades. Yeah, I should have written this a while ago.]
In the last performance review, we engaged in some [cross-level feedback] [Bourbon] [fisticuffs] that was designed to [facilitate communication between levels] [fulfill your reporting requirements to senior management] [make you feel better for ignoring me the other 364.5 days a year]. During this meeting I was not entirely [comprehensive] [forthcoming] [conscious]. Please allow me to provide some feedback now.
You have extraordinary levels of [in] [competence] as a manager. It was a [rewarding] [mind-numbing] [terrifying] experience working for you. Your command of [leadership] [buck-passing] [Minesweeper] was an [inspiration] [amusing foible] [object of scorn] amongst the team.
I wish you [the best of luck for the future] [catch your genitals in a zipper before a date] [would stop telling the same joke every meeting].
[Warmest regards] [Die].
[*INSERT NAME*]